We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
