Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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