is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
