i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
