I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
