i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
someone threw a dead crab at me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
