I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My bed smells like the plague
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
