Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
then he tried to convert me to islam
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
