If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Randomize
