God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
