the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
