I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
