loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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