I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
People with herpes should wear stickers.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Randomize