Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
