She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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