I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
