Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
