oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
