I'm really into asian looking animals
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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