Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
