ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
