WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
