Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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