so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
