HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
