it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize