.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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