So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
