How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
