is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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