Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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