names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
