Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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