sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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