I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
