Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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