She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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