Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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