so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
