You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
