I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
