he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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