it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
