North Korea, Best Korea!
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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