Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
