I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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