walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just want nice things and good sex
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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