I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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