the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
