its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
