i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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