i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
being pregnant is like rehab
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
