But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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