using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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