Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
