from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
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