I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
