So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
