I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize