One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Even my vagina gasped.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
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