I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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