that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
