didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
not ubering you a puppy
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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