I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Randomize
